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Through A Man's Eyes

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In Through a Man’s Eyes, Shaunti Feldhahn and Craig Gross team up through compassion and candor in this long-awaited book, every woman can learn what men have wished we knew but didn’t know how to explain – and see the difference it makes when we do!

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Video Workshop

& Three Free Books

This is a ten session online-video workshop based off of the book Through a Man’s Eyes by Craig Gross & Shaunti Feldhahn. You will be taken on a tour of what life looks like for men, from the inside.

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Shaunti Feldhahn

Craig Gross

Shaunti is a social researcher, popular speaker, and the best-selling author of such books as For Women Only. Craig is a pastor and the founder of, which is the most recognized voice on the planet on the issues of pornography and sex.

We Answer These Questions

Why are guys so visual—and what does that mean, anyway?

How do I help my son navigate this sex-crazed culture?

How dare someone tell a woman to watch what she wears! Isn’t it a man’s responsibility not to look?

If he’s tempted by visual images, is there something wrong with him? With me?

My husband is an honorable guy, so why would he be tempted by porn?

How can I talk to my husband or son about this? What can I do to support him

Video Series

This is a ten session online-video workshop based off of the book Through a Man’s Eyes by Craig Gross & Shaunti Feldhahn. You will be taken on a tour of what life looks like for men, from the inside. We will discuss why men see life in certain ways and are known to be “visual”. We’ll discuss male brain wiring, emotional inputs, compulsions versus choices, how age differences matter, and how their makeup is ultimately created to be just as good and legitimate as those of women.



Free Chapter

Feel free to read the first chapter of Through A Man’s Eyes below.

Chapter 1.

What Men See

Just for a moment, we want you to step with us into a pair of shoes that, in real life, you will never wear: those of a man in your life. Maybe that is your husband or boyfriend. Maybe that is your son. Maybe your brother or father or close friend.

We want to take you on a tour of what life looks like for men, from the inside.

Why do you want or need this tour?

Because you’re not a guy. And as a result, you’re missing a huge part of the life experienced by your husband, boyfriend, or son. He faces some major challenges. They are in his face. Every. Single. Day. These challenges often come with consequences for him, for you, and your relationship—yet you might be completely unaware that they even exist.

Even for the most noble, honorable men, they exist.

Yet once your eyes are opened to these challenges, the potential consequences, and how to handle them, everything changes. You will understand how men see life in certain ways—and why. You will understand the impact—both the negative and the positive—that it could have on their relationships with you and others. And you will know what you can do to provide support, prevent problems, and address any issues that have already arisen.

But that comes later. For now, set it all aside, and come with us on that tour of what life looks like for men.

Literally, looks like. We are going to experience a summer day in the life of a fairly typical guy whom we will call Jack. Jack is thirty years old, and a good guy who takes his faith seriously. He has been married for two years, doesn’t have kids yet, and works in commercial real estate in a mid-size city. He went to bed late the night before, and has a full day ahead….

6:30 am—WA! WA! WA! WA!

After silencing his alarm, Jack reluctantly opens his bleary eyes and lies in bed for a minute, trying to wake up. He hears the shower running in the master bathroom a few feet away and the watery sounds of his wife humming happily. An image of what she looks like right now, standing there in the spray, jumps to his mind, and he feels his body respond. He smiles as he remembers what she looked like in this bedroom late last night, and he savors a few mental images. Yes, they went to sleep a bit later than anticipated…but it was worth it!

The sound of the shower shutting off snaps him out of his reverie. Jack swings out of bed and heads toward the bathroom. As he pushes open the door, he sees his wife hastily wrapping a towel around herself—what a shame—and smiles at her as he says good morning. He gives her a sweet kiss on top of her wet head. She always looks embarrassed to be seen with no clothes on (“My butt is too big and my boobs are too small,” she always says), but he loves stealing glances at her when he can and consumes every mental image he can get, from their wedding night onward.

His brain starts to imagine what she looks like under that towel, but he shuts down that train of thought. No sense making himself crazy; she’s running to work and so is he.

Shaking the thought out of his head, he steps into the shower and resolutely forces himself to think about the tasks of the busy day ahead.

8:30 a.m.—Downtown

“Morning.” Jack and his colleagues greet each other as they enter the office building. As the elevator doors open onto the third floor, he notes which colleagues are already there and which cubes are empty.

He’ll be leaving shortly for the big review meeting at the DeMarco Hotel site and, given the tension with the client, he needs some paperwork from each of his colleagues. But he doesn’t see….

Cole, where is Cole? I need his numbers before I leave. He said he’d have them to me by now!

For the next hour, he finds it hard to concentrate as his eyes continually flick between the clock and the elevator bank. Then an elevator door opens and his colleague Abbie comes striding down the corridor.

In a nanosecond, it is as if a spotlight is shining on her well-endowed figure and her crisp white blouse. As usual, she seems to have missed doing up those top two buttons. A giant invisible magnet instantly draws Jack’s eyes to the top of her lacy bra and the perfect form inside.

And as usual, in that nanosecond he has two powerful forces wrestling within him. He feels a tightening in his gut and a temptation to consume that pleasurable image for as long as he can before Abbie sees him. But he also wants to honor his wife (and God) in his thought life.

Jack wrenches his head away. Knowing Abbie is about to walk directly past his cubicle, he turns his chair slightly so his back faces the door. She is less likely to stop for some polite morning chitchat that way. For a few moments, he stares blankly at the DeMarco Hotel paperwork on his desk, extremely aware of the fact that Abbie is walking past him right now. He fights a desire to turn around and take a look at her back view, which is usually interesting too. He breathes a sigh of relief when the sound of her heels fades from earshot.

Now the only problem is that he has to fight several attempts made by other images of Abbie—other outfits, other glimpses—to intrude on the screen of his mind. Each time another unbidden image floats to the surface, he resolutely refocuses on the DeMarco numbers.

He’s having trouble concentrating on them. What else can he think about to distract himself…? What’s his next task again…?

Oh right! Cole’s numbers! He looks back to the elevator just as Cole rushes in. Jack quickly intercepts his colleague to get his report and heads out the door.

9:47 a.m.—Somewhere on the highway

Jack hates this stretch of road. In order to get to the new resort hotel site, he has to drive fifty miles outside the city. And at least ten billboards along the way advertise “gentlemen’s clubs.” He has never been to one, but multiple TV shows and movies have shown girls dancing around a stripper pole…which sends his memory back to those images whenever another billboard appears.

On each billboard, the smoldering eyes of the fifteen-foot high seductive woman try to draw his gaze—eyes that say I want you. Since Jack can’t look the other direction for too long without crashing the car, he does as his dad once taught him to do. He keeps his eyes resolutely on the road and prays for the young women who are trapped in those professions.

And a few miles on, he does that again.

And again.

And again.

10:30 a.m.—The new resort hotel site, outside the city

As Jack steps out of his car and begins walking down the path between the new hotel and the one next door, he hears some boisterous young voices. About ten yards ahead of him, he sees five or six teenage girls come out of the hotel next door and head toward their hotel pool. All are wearing bikinis and have clearly been in and out of the pool a few times already.

Jack feels that feeling in his gut again. That desire to look again. Because he’s behind the girls, he could look with impunity and feel the pleasure of consuming all those exhilarating images.

But thankfully, he has ammunition. He looks away from the girls and calls to mind instead that other intoxicating image. That one of his wife last night. He savors it like a delicious drink for a moment, allowing his mind to view it in slow motion. By the time the path reaches the doors of the hotel, the girls have turned aside—he lost track of where—and he is grinning to himself and feeling a great rush of affection for his wife.

11:15 a.m.—Halfway through the meeting

Jack is trying to sort through the contradictory numbers and differing stories shared by his onsite manager and the hotel manager. Were the cost overruns actually authorized by the client or weren’t they?

His client pauses the meeting for a second to send a quick text message to someone. He tells Jack, “I’ve just asked Dionne, our financial officer, to come in and share her paper trail so you see that we simply never approved these additional expenditures.”

A moment later, the door opens, and Jack does a double-take, and then relaxes.

Dionne is a beautiful woman with flowing dark hair, chocolate-brown eyes, and an eye-catching white suit. And even in that split second Jack can tell that she probably has a great figure in there somewhere. But Dionne is polished and professional without being provocative. Her suit is pretty, but it isn’t tight. Her top doesn’t show a thing. And when she sits down next to Jack to work through a series of spreadsheets, her skirt is long enough that it doesn’t ride up.

Jack breathes a sigh of relief and then focuses on the complex numbers as she takes him through the client’s version of the paper trail.

Thirty minutes later he isn’t fully convinced, but it is clear Dionne has done her homework and she has made a good case. He stands up, shakes her hand, and tells her so.

“I can’t promise we will come down on your side, but we’re going to take a much harder look at some of these numbers,” he says as he takes his leave.

1:00—Back at the downtown office

The next few hours are tough. Back at the office, he has trouble concentrating on what Abbie is saying as she and Cole walk him through other side of the DeMarco numbers. And later, when images of Abbie’s form pop up in his mind, he resolutely tears them down by thinking about his wife, the DeMarco numbers, or getting the car transmission looked at. And then he has to deal with the sidebar pop-ups on various social media sites during the few moments he spends online when taking a break from work.

Next there’s the after-work trip through the auto shop where the magazines in the waiting room include old copies of Maxim (Jack stands up and walks around for a while…until he realizes that the pictures on the walls include pinups). And the drive home while the news radio station airs a commercial for “the little blue pill for whenever the time is right”—and images of “when the time was right” begin to play in his brain.

By the time Jack pulls into the driveway, it is nearly 8:00 p.m., and he’s hungry for more than just food. After dinner, as he helps clean the dishes, he comes up behind his wife and gives her a big hug and his hands begin to wander. She playfully slaps his hand and chuckles, “You only have one thing on your mind, don’t you? Hey, I was going to tell you, Scott and Julie are interested in looking at the bikes this weekend if you really do want to sell them…”

Jack smiles ruefully to himself and drags his mind back to what his wife is saying, and away from where it wants to go.

But maybe tomorrow night . . .

A Normal Guy in an Abnormal Situation

Jack is not a sex addict, not a pervert, and he doesn’t have any unusual problems with his thought life. He is a normal man in an abnormal situation. He is living with a visually wired and stimulated brain in a culture filled with very public images that were only supposed to be seen in private.

The reason we wanted to give you this peek (so to speak) into a day in Jack’s life is that because men and women are wired so differently, women don’t realize how the opposite sex sees the world. Most women simply aren’t aware of what “men’s visual nature” even means, or how much it impacts literally every area of life and relationship for most men. And it is vital to fill in this blind spot so that women can grasp what men face every day in this culture, why they see the world this way, and the work it takes to keep their thought lives as pure as such a culture will allow.

And once a woman’s eyes are opened, she will want to know what to do about it—such as how to support a man or a boy in his efforts, how to prevent problems from starting, and how to address it if someone she cares about has fallen into some of the common traps of today.

Unfortunately, I (Shaunti) have seen that most of us have absolutely no idea just how crucial this understanding is. Both in my work as a social researcher and speaker, and in Craig’s work as the founder of, we have noticed this irony: men are visual…and women are blind to it. All too often, we simply don’t see—or we completely misunderstand—a man’s visual nature. Just when we need the most thorough possible understanding of men, we are the most clueless.

This disconnect would be merely amusing if the consequences weren’t so serious. Consequences like a ten-year-old boy (an age where intervention is the easiest) being drawn to search for “boobs” on Google images…but because his mom doesn’t know how to handle it she does nothing. Consequences like that same ten-year-old-boy, six years later, wanting to try certain things with his girlfriend that he never would have thought of on his own—and his girlfriend, in her confusion, assuming it must be normal and going along with it.

Consequences like a twenty-three-year-old woman breaking up with the man she thought she would marry, because he confessed he had looked at Maxim magazine a few times. Or the forty-year-old husband with a deep need for more intimacy whose wife is offended and pulls away when he tries clumsily to explain just how much he wants more thoughts of her in his mind, rather than all the other images he sees around him.

Consequences like the woman who, after discovering that her husband struggles with porn, spirals into depression or considers divorce because she blames herself or thinks he doesn’t love her. Or even consequences like the business leader, pastor, or schoolteacher who desperately wants his female staff members or audience to understand issues with certain attire…but gives up because he has no idea how to explain it in a way that doesn’t make himself sound like a creep.

In today’s culture, a man’s visual nature impacts every area of his life. Home, work, school, church, sports, activities, marriage, dating, parenting, prayer, friendships—nothing is exempt. And because it impacts every area of his life, it impacts ours as well.

Learning this stuff—learning how to be an active support and partner—is one of the greatest gifts you can give the man or boy in your life today. [Another sentence here to transition better to below. Along the lines of, “And that’s why we wanted to write this book” or something like that.]

A Bit about Us

Both of us writing this book come at life—and this subject—from a Christian perspective. All the information in here is based on our nationally representative research and work, which is used widely in the general market, but our approach in this book will have a clear faith-based thread and will include our best effort to discern the callings and responsibilities of those who not only want to honor each other, but also want to honor God.

So here’s a bit about us.

I (Shaunti) am a wife, mom of two (ages eleven and fourteen), and social researcher who is probably best known for a book called For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, and other research-based books about men, women, teens, the workplace, and relationships. Today, in addition to researching and writing, I speak at churches, women’s conferences, marriage seminars, corporate conventions, and other events. I love seeing the life change that comes when someone gets something simple but important that they just didn’t know before.

And I (Craig) am a husband, a father of two children (ages nine and eleven), and the founder of a ministry called that helps men and women all over the world overcome their porn problems, whether they’re using porn or making it. I have a lot of experience in helping people learn how to avoid porn problems or address them once they have this issue. I spend a good amount of my time speaking at churches, conferences, and colleges talking about pornography, sex additions, and temptations. Later in this book I’ll be addressing a series of questions that we get asked frequently at from women just like you. I tend to be pretty blunt and don’t sugar coat the truth, but I don’t mean to offend, upset, or shock you by that. I’m really glad you’re reading this book, and I’m delighted to take part in helping you understand where the man in your life might be coming from.

How We Got Here—And Why We Are Writing This Book

When I (Shaunti) first stumbled into this field of social research, I was realizing just how much I as a woman didn’t understand about men. What it means that “men are visual” was at the top of the list.

My journey started years ago when I was writing a novel and didn’t know how to put thoughts in the head of my main male character in a scene similar to one I described above with Jack and Abbie. I asked some men I trusted what they would be thinking in such a situation, purely so I could make sure I accurately described the thoughts of a man…and found myself shocked by their answers. These godly men described thoughts, feelings, and—most importantly—images that were completely foreign to me. And a bit alarming! Yet I trusted these men, including my husband.

I set out to understand this reality much more thoroughly, and it snowballed. I ended up with a comprehensive look not only into the visual nature of men but into all the vital things that we women tend not to get about men—things they wish we knew, or in many cases think we already do know! And the research has continued. I’ve interviewed and commissioned nationally-representative surveys of more than six thousand men over twelve years for various books.

Some of this “visual” subject was revealed as one of the eight truths in For Women Only. It is by far the topic that leads to the most emails, blog posts, online comments, or questions during my speaking events or radio interviews. Craig has seen the same thing week after week as he speaks at churches and universities and is regularly interviewed as an on-air expert on news outlets like CNN.

The reactions from women readers and listeners range from deep thankfulness at finally understanding their man’s wiring to worrisome misunderstandings. They run the gamut from stunned curiosity (like mine) or relief that their man is “normal,” all the way to anger that “you are telling men it’s okay to look” (which we are not, by the way!) or overwrought tears asking, “How can I ever trust him again now I know he’s tempted to look at women other than me?”

And along with those reactions is a clear need not just to more specifically understand this aspect of a husband, boyfriend, or son, but for more specific guidance on how to be a better wife, girlfriend, or mom in this area and how to head off challenges where possible and address others once they have arisen.

That is what we will be giving you in the pages ahead. And that is why this is a book that is written for women. It is fine for men to look in at what we are telling their wives or girlfriends, but the goal of this book is to educate, equip, and—where necessary—exhort women to understanding and action.

We’ll be taking you on a very specific journey…not simply to awareness and action, but to encouragement and hope. God specifically created men to be visual in this way. Despite the challenges this poses for men in this fallen world and our sexualized culture, it is ultimately intended to be a good thing, not a bad one.

It is also something that is as diverse and individual as every man, every boy, and every marriage. We will be largely focusing on those things that affect the majority of men and/or cause the most significant issues, but there will be many exceptions. And it is vital to use this as a starting point for understanding the men and boys in your life, including the unique way each of them is wired as an individual.

We know that this subject can be awkward to talk about and even read about. We will do our best to address it matter-of-factly but with sensitivity and respect for men and for you.

Who Should Read this Book

If you fit any of the following, we think the knowledge in this book is important and has the potential to be life changing for how you relate to and support your husband, boyfriend, or son in a difficult culture:

~ You want to have your eyes opened to these sometimes-awkward truths

~ You are curious and want to know the “real deal” about men before you start dating

~ You are willing and able to look at the positives of how God created men

~ You can handle any challenging things you learn

That last bullet brings us to an important point. Before we get started, we want to ask you to do one thing: make sure you are ready or able to read this book. If you are feeling ultra-vulnerable, very scared, or are already resentful at the idea of learning what it means that men are visual…please don’t read this book right now. Come back to it another time.

Both of us have seen that when we explain these truths, there are some listeners or readers who get extremely angry or devastated because they think we are saying things that, in fact, we would never say. Some believe that we are making excuses for men, saying “boys will be boys” or implying that women bear most of the responsibility. Several have told us, “I’m never going to be able to trust my husband again, now that I know how visual he is,” and more than a few devastated husbands have told us that their wives completely cut off intimacy once they learned the truth about how men are wired.

All of those things are contrary to our message and our hearts in this book. But we do understand that sometimes a reader might be misreading our words because she is simply in a particularly vulnerable place. If so, it would be wiser for her to wait and learn this information once she can do so without causing herself and her relationships that sort of pain.

So please pray about this before you start. Examine your heart to see if you are willing to see the wonderful things about how God created men, including those that might be hard to hear.

And anywhere find yourself starting to freak out a bit as you read, stop and pray before you continue. Remind yourself that your husband is the same person he was five minutes ago, before you knew this, but now you know something he’s been dealing with all along—something he didn’t know how to explain, didn’t want to explain, or was afraid to explain. We think true love means knowing and supporting each other, and our prayer is that this book will help you do that in a wonderful way that will bring you closer.

So if you are ready, let’s jump in.

Let’s start by looking at why men are so visual and the amazing way God has created their brains to be so different from ours.

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  • Chapter 1.

    - What Men See [...]

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Chapter overviews

Here are the different chapters that are in the book. Feel free to take a look at all the things we dive into.

What Men See

Just for a moment, we want you to step with us into a pair of shoes that, in real life, you will never wear: those of a man in your life. Maybe those shoes belong to your husband or boyfriend. Maybe your son. Maybe your brother or father or close friend.

Why Men Are Visual

The man in your life is wired very differently than you. Okay, you probably figured that out already.
But the type of wiring we’re talking about is different from the usual use of that term. We don’t mean just “he thinks differently than you,” or “has a different set of needs and insecurities” although both are true.

Men Aren’t Jerks

Just Because They’re Prone to Look Doesn’t Make Them Jerks. I know it is difficult to grasp but this is one thing that your son, husband, and father all have in common: Most guys like looking at women. They may or may not actually do it, but something deep down inside them sure wants to.

External Attraction

It makes a great deal of difference once women see that there is actually an emotional impact of this physical temptation. Many women who might not understand the brain wiring of their husbands and how it plays out and don’t understand the emotional issues at play and assume they aren’t “enough” for their men.

Different Draws

There is a spectrum when it comes to just about everything, and the visual nature of men is no exception. We know that extremes exist and make for great stories, so those wind up being what we hear about most. After all, who wants to read about a bunch of normal people, right? Tell us about the weirdos!

The Knee Jerk

So let’s acknowledge that for some of us, a knee-jerk reaction is easy and calm listening is hard. Since the rest of the book is getting ultrapractical—what we actually do about everything we’ve learned up to this point—let’s tackle the reality that the key to responding well on the outside is to be careful about how we are responding on the inside.

Every Women’s Response

I (Shaunti) am going to start here with the broadest look at how women and girls can respond to these truths in our day-to-day lives. In the next chapter, we will narrow in to see how someone can respond as a wife, followed by a chapter on how to respond as a mother.

What Men See

Just for a moment, we want you to step with us into a pair of shoes that, in real life, you will never wear: those of a man in your life. Maybe those shoes belong to your husband or boyfriend. Maybe your son. Maybe your brother or father or close friend.

The Wife’s Response

If you are married, you may or may not want to toss this book into a pool, like the gal in the last chapter, but you probably have a whole bunch of swirling thoughts and questions. And many of those questions likely center around what you should actually do as a wife or girlfriend. That’s what we’ll be covering in this chapter.

The Mom’s Response

Moms, you are so crucial to your children’s development, as well as to their perceptions of healthy sexuality. We’ll get to being the parent of a visually wired son shortly, but first, let’s talk about being a parent, period. Your kids—both sons and daughters—are paying attention to you, and they see how you treat sex and react to it in our culture.

Living In Hope

As you process everything you’ve learned so far about the minds of men, your own mind may be buzzing. You may be thrilled to finally know more about your man or your son, or you may be thinking that moving to a planet populated only by women sounds pretty appealing right now.


We have an extensive list of resources and books and everything imaginable you can think of to help you navigate the topics discussed in this book.

Frequently Asked Questions

I (Craig) have found that one of the great things about running a ministry like is being able to respond to all kinds of questions that people—especially women—have about pornography, this sexualized culture, and the effects it can have on society, their marriages, their spouses, and their kids.

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Kathi Lipp

Kathi Lipp

I’ve spoken at hundreds of events for women on the topic of marriage, and I can honestly not think of a more needed book. Is it possible (please!) that we can finally have an honest conversation in the church about the visual nature of men without guys being called creeps and women being called frigid? My deepest prayer is that couples will read this book and be able to talk without judgment about this reality for men in our modern society and for their marriages. For many couples, this will be the most important book they read this year—and maybe in their entire relationship.
—Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project, Happy Habits for Couples, and Hot Mamas

Emerson Eggerichs

Emerson Eggerichs

Shaunti and Craig have given us a brilliant and much-needed book. There are many books for men about avoiding lust, but until now there has been nothing to help women understand what even the most honorable man or boy faces today-- and what to do about it. I've seen many wives personalize a man's visual nature as evidence that her good-willed husband does not love her. Of course, all he can say is, 'Well, I do love you' as he battles to avoid the swimming areas, Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, or stay accountable with his internet viewing. And when men have given in to those temptations, and don't understand the pain they inflict on their wives, their wives don't know how to handle it. In Through a Man's Eyes, every wife, mom, counselor and pastor has the resource we've been waiting for.
–Emerson Eggerichs, bestselling author of “Love and Respect”

Jimmy and Karen Evans

Jimmy and Karen Evans

The visual nature of men is an unchangeable reality of life, love, and marriage. And it is an issue few women understand. That lack of knowledge creates a lot of relational problems and barriers to experiencing intimacy. Finally, here is a book that will empower women with the truth about how God made men and how to relate to them with understanding. I love this book and am so thankful to Craig and Shaunti for writing it.
—Jimmy Evans, founder and CEO of MarriageToday and author of The Right One: How to Date and Marry the Right Person

Jim Burns

Jim Burns

Any woman (or man!) who reads this book will have a much better understanding of the visual nature of men and boys. As I read this book, words like refreshing, challenging, insightful, grace, practical and helpful kept popping into my head. Shaunti and Craig are two of my favorite authors, researchers, and friends, and I respect and admire both of them. Putting these two people together to write this book makes it not only a stroke of genius but a resource that will bring health and understanding to thousands of women who needed to comprehend how men think and react to visual stimulation. The answers to the questions about the effect of pornography on men and boys could save many a relationship.
—Jim Burns, PhD, president of HomeWord and author of Teaching Your Kids Healthy Sexuality and The Purity Code (for teens and preteens)

Dave and Ashley Willis

Dave and Ashley Willis

If you've ever wondered what's actually going on in your husband's brain, then you need this book! 'Through a Man's Eyes' is a brilliant roadmap into the mental wiring of men. This book could instantly improve the understanding, communication and intimacy in your marriage.
Dave and Ashley Willis -

Gary and Bar Rosberg

Gary and Bar Rosberg

For years we’ve told couples around the world to make sure they bought a copy of the book. This new book is excellent! So compelling we couldn’t put it down! Thank you, Shaunti and Craig, for writing more on these crucial differences between men and women! It gives couples everywhere the capacity to talk about them.
—Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg ,America’s Family Coaches

Jill Savage

Jill Savage

Oh how I wish I’d had this resource thirty-two years ago when I was a new wife. Even though I’ve been married for many years, I learned so much on the pages of this book. If you have a man in your life, you need this resource! Thank you, Shaunti and Craig, for giving women the gift of understanding.
—Jill Savage, CEO of Hearts at Home and author of No More Perfect Moms

Shannon Ethridge

Shannon Ethridge

Women, be brave. This is all the stuff your man has been trying to tell you about how he’s wired, but didn’t know how to say. This is the stuff every mom of a boy needs to know. Whether you have an issue you need to address, are curious about how to support a man or guide a son, or simply need reassurance that the male wiring was intended to be a good thing, this resource will help. This eye-opening book is the go-to resource for a whole new generation of women who care about men.
—Shannon Ethridge, MA, relationship coach, speaker, and author of many books including the best-selling Every Woman’s Battle series, The Sexually Confident Wife, and The Passion Principles

Mark and Susan Merril

Mark and Susan Merril

This is a book that all husbands should want their wives to read. Through a Man’s Eyes takes women on a journey into the minds of men, and shows them how even nice guys struggle with the onslaught of visual temptation they face every day. Thankfully, it also shows women how to be compassionate, wise, and encouraging in dealing with this aspect of their husband’s life.
—Mark and Susan Merrill. Mark is president of Family First and author of All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids, and Susan is director of content for Family First and author of The Passionate Mom

Dr. Robert Lewis

Dr. Robert Lewis

Men have long needed their hidden sexual ‘wiring’ exposed along with the challenges it brings. And women have long needed this enlightenment and the compassion for their men that surely comes with it. Clearly, a must read!
—Dr. Robert Lewis, founder of Men’s Fraternity and producer of Marriage Oneness


You can purchase the digital version of the book, the paperback version or get the Video workshop which includes the digital version of the book.

About the authors

Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti is a social researcher, popular speaker, and the best-selling author of such books as For Women Only. With more than two million copies of her books sold in twenty-three languages, Shaunti speaks all over the world. Her relationship findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as the New York Times and The Today Show, Focus on the Family, and Cosmo. She and her husband, Jeff, and their two kids are based out of Atlanta.

Craig Gross

Craig is a pastor and the founder of, which is the most recognized voice on the planet on the issues of pornography and sex. Craig is the author of eleven books and has been featured in GQ, Newsweek, Wired, the New York Times, and on Good Morning America, Nightline, CNN, Fox News, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He lives in Pasadena, California, with his wife, Jeanette, and their two children.

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